Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
