Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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