Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize