I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
