hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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