Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
