apparently the secret to your success is patron
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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