I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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