I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
