He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
