He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
if i can run in heels then i can drive
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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