No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
