i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
