Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize