yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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