I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
