Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
