I want to have your abortion
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize