No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize