I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
