White coat. Heels.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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