Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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