Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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