Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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