Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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