Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Randomize
