i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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