Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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