i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just pee around me
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
