I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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