I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
