DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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