I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
