I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize