Texts From Last Night

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...

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  (918): Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic... http://tfl.nu/yey5
  Replies (88) Good night (10171) Bad night (1486)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later

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  (606): you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later http://tfl.nu/ipo7
  Replies (26) Good night (1956) Bad night (4932)
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  (707): View more from California

  just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.

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  (707): just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved. http://tfl.nu/zste
  Replies (20) Good night (9709) Bad night (929)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.

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  (989): in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/9a80
  Replies (14) Good night (1159) Bad night (4865)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.

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  (253): thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever. http://tfl.nu/km2f
  Replies (4) Good night (3069) Bad night (748)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol

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  (910): he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol http://tfl.nu/9w2c
  Replies (5) Good night (1355) Bad night (609)
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  (626): View more from California

  Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...

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  (626): Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything... http://tfl.nu/rago
  Replies (19) Good night (2899) Bad night (744)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!

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  (413): Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?! http://tfl.nu/jygw
  Replies (18) Good night (1998) Bad night (612)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.

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  (843): Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck. http://tfl.nu/fj8t
  Replies (29) Good night (920) Bad night (2036)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I drink to make the karaoke go away.

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  (610): I drink to make the karaoke go away. http://tfl.nu/0jio
  Replies (6) Good night (861) Bad night (318)
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  (310): View more from California

  My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.

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  (310): My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick. http://tfl.nu/xvdr
  Replies (10) Good night (1812) Bad night (528)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.

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  (360): ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/5hyy
  Replies (9) Good night (2117) Bad night (477)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink

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  (480): It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink http://tfl.nu/j4a7
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (227)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.

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  (443): Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue. http://tfl.nu/vk1w
  Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.

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  (847): Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing. http://tfl.nu/r89c
  Replies (0) Good night (557) Bad night (172)

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