How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween