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• (850): View more from Florida

  i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

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• (315): View more from New York

  I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (801): View more from Utah

  As long as you're not dating white guys again.

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?

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• (469): View more from Texas

  Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

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• (310): View more from California

  I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  And we're breaking up

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Finding that toy duck there was weird right?

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room

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• (+55): View more from

  you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.

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