I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia