Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.

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  (216): He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract. http://tfl.nu/wrx8
  Replies (26) Good night (781) Bad night (3010)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

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  (908): do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card? http://tfl.nu/jvvm
  Replies (219) Good night (1005) Bad night (7091)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  Wasn't he an English major?

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  (703): He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him. (1-703): Wasn't he an English major? http://tfl.nu/vbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (1289) Bad night (5128)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.

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  (601): He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows. http://tfl.nu/pp93
  Replies (15) Good night (7098) Bad night (2132)
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  (408): View more from California

  his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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  (408): his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out http://tfl.nu/n59r
  Replies (10) Good night (1045) Bad night (4296)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.

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  (503): We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first. http://tfl.nu/hwjj
  Replies (12) Good night (3491) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...

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  (708): Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked... http://tfl.nu/0j0c
  Replies (8) Good night (2347) Bad night (1027)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!

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  (352): She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week! http://tfl.nu/rhq7
  Replies (4) Good night (1962) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!

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  (859): I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms! http://tfl.nu/ase3
  Replies (4) Good night (1540) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Not as covert as you thought huh?

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  (740): Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years (614): Not as covert as you thought huh? http://tfl.nu/u7wd
  Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (647)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.

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  (434): Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority. http://tfl.nu/mqpz
  Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.

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  (403): It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this. http://tfl.nu/72jz
  Replies (3) Good night (781) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.

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  (218): Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning. http://tfl.nu/ybgs
  Replies (3) Good night (402) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.

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  (512): Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now. http://tfl.nu/zy0d
  Replies (6) Good night (495) Bad night (593)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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  (925): I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time. http://tfl.nu/8l0a
  Replies (1) Good night (672) Bad night (370)

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