Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Thursdays are my worst days

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?

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  (416): Thursdays are my worst days (1-416): but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay? http://tfl.nu/vmle
  Replies (49) Good night (4810) Bad night (674)
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  (805): View more from California

  just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.

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  (805): just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/ly75
  Replies (7) Good night (6504) Bad night (1259)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.

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  (403): I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night. http://tfl.nu/12y8
  Replies (9) Good night (5993) Bad night (1146)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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  (847): Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/vi8m
  Replies (5) Good night (4307) Bad night (1097)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever

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  (229): She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever http://tfl.nu/g4y3
  Replies (11) Good night (3543) Bad night (1202)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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  (305): and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him http://tfl.nu/st8n
  Replies (10) Good night (2973) Bad night (1774)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight

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  (631): ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight http://tfl.nu/dytu
  Replies (29) Good night (2642) Bad night (580)
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  (619): View more from California

  I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.

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  (619): I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes. http://tfl.nu/rji6
  Replies (9) Good night (1429) Bad night (797)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time

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  (973): "can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time http://tfl.nu/xrvp
  Replies (12) Good night (2772) Bad night (647)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.

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  (507): I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins. http://tfl.nu/raw5
  Replies (7) Good night (762) Bad night (1034)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone

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  (512): I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone http://tfl.nu/z79l
  Replies (11) Good night (1778) Bad night (474)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening

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  (321): I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening http://tfl.nu/wlci
  Replies (4) Good night (1266) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...

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  (302): Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week... http://tfl.nu/cclg
  Replies (3) Good night (452) Bad night (766)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet

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  (650): I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet http://tfl.nu/2n36
  Replies (3) Good night (570) Bad night (263)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around

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  (562): Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around http://tfl.nu/8h5l
  Replies (4) Good night (289) Bad night (525)

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