so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
They are going to name an STD after you.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
