in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You're earring is so big in my mouth
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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