My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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