return my video game
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
