u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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