my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
