just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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