She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
