I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
