"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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