no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
