dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
