Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
