apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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