i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
