You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
