We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
