And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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