but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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