she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize