I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize