i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't make out with my wife yet
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
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