Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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